I'm on a roll. And avoiding doing the dishes.

Okay, so the past few times I've looked for an apartment I get on this Craigs List kick. Because it worked with this apartment, I just need to save more during this fruitful economy. It always starts with apartments, then I look for a new desk, think about selling my Ikea sterling silver serving cart, go to strictly platonic and then end up looking at personal Ads. I'm sorry but you can't make this stuff up! Current Ad I am readings says Title: Pissed off at your EX? Read this 24 St. Louis "Wanting to blow off some steam? Look no further than here. Vent your anger by kicking me in the balls. I am a strange person, but I like getting hit down there. I am serious. Hopefully you can kick hard. "

I assume this guy gets off to America's Funniest Home Videos? Or wishes that was him tossing the baseball to his cute kid or falling down to straddle a rail or walking carelessly into something crotch height

Apartment Therapy Scavenger Hunt: M.J.

I like a lot of the items on Apartment Therapy. I have no ill will towards the late Michael Jackson, Mr. Pop. But what would you say if your Grandmother gave this too you? If I was dating someone and we had the "If you could get rid of one of my belongings from the apartment what would it be?" conversation. I would point to this. P.S. I would strongly advise against this conversation. We both know you don't have the balls to tell them what you really want to give up. Instead you cop out and go for the easy kill.

Am I flattered?

Five seconds after posting about the snappers my neighbors started setting off whistling fireworks. Am I flattered they read Two Best Friends dot com? Or am I going to call the police? Find our on the next exciting episode of Fireworks Of Our Lives.

Signs that I am not 10 anymore.

My next door neighbor or someone on this street keeps throwing snaps against the ground, my building, their building, their door, their window and its driving me insane. I remember when I use to BEG mom to buy these for me in Oklahoma, because you couldn't buy them in VA. They are easy to convience your parents to buy because there is no fire involved but there is a fun pop! Totally appropriate for kids and the 4th of July. BUT TUESDAY JUNE 30 2009!!?? Especially since at first I thought it was gun fire (again I was fooled by the fireworks). Ugh! Be quiet you young whipper-snappers!

I know people put some weird stuff on Craigslist but this takes the noodle!

I will pay you $50 to sit in my bathtub full of noodles while you wear a one piece bathing suit. I will not be home, nor will anyone else while you do this. I will leave the key for you, and you will sit at your leisure. I will require at least a 5 minutes stay. A neighbor will watch the front door from across the street and using a supplied stopwatch, will time your entry and departure. Please supply your own footwear. The noodles will be cooked, and therefore slippery. DO NOT bring any sauce. I will season the pasta after I return home prior to dinner. I am particular about who sits in my noodles so email me a picture of you in your one piece bathing suit and I will let you know if get the money.

New apartment

I am looking for a new apartment to save money and I'm finding some places that are 300-400 square feet? Do we think this is big enough? How big is that? What would I have to downsize too? Suggestions are welcome!

Tarot cards, physcics and movies?

Have you ever seen a preview to a Movie and it read exactly like that question you asked that "free" tarot card service? Or even the online magic 8 ball.

Well awhile ago I saw the preview for Puccini for Beginners. Basic story is a lesbian starts dating a man and accidental starts dating his ex girlfriend at the same time. CRAZY Iknow.

Well I was so curious as to who she would end up with. I compared it to my life of these sudden feelings for the opposite sex.

*SPOILER ALERT* So I finally watched the movie over the weekend. It was okay. She ended back up with her ex-girlfriend that she broke up with at the beginning of the movie.

I guess like a magic eight ball saying "It is undecided" I will have to make up my own mind about my sexuality. How unfair is that!!

saturday 3 pm

 and the location is my apartment, where in my own strange way, i'm mourning the death of michael jackson.  Its hot as hell so i'm sitting here in only a pair of high waisted granny panties, but all the candles in the place are ablaze anyway, and i'm playing " I want you back" on repeat, thinking about life after an icon. i would not say that the news ever brought me tears, or that i could claim his music kept me going, nor i could i promise i never made a joke at his expense or deny that i was creeped out by his bizarre actions and wasted face in the recent past. 

what i can say, though, is that in his absence i have lost a piece of the cultural landscape i was born into. No matter that his influence was not an overt or direct presence in my life, in 1984, the year of my birth, Michael Jackson was the most important player in the popular culture of the time. by then he was already a veteran performer and his record thriller was two years into the process of becoming the best selling album of all time.  and still the sound of his childhood voice  echoed from the past on radios in homes, cars and shopping centers where they entered  the collective conciousness of a generation. True, the contemporaries of Macaulay Culkin, a lot of us grew up with a developed awareness of Whacko Jacko and the sort of school bus jokes that accompanied his increasingly erratic behavior. Still, the made for tv movies about his difficult childhood that hit airwaves in my adolesence still resonate, and now that I have the safety of hindsight, i can say that Michael Jackson's death has me saddened and a little lost. like everyone gone before his time, we haven't had time to prepare for the void. a part of my past, our past, the past, is gone. 

sarah, no.

i know you really really really love twilight but you CANNOT buy this shit. 

this bitch stole my glasses

...and my body

what a lovely evening.

lately i have felt a palpable tension in everyone i know. maybe it's the weariness that comes from worrying about money for too long and too much. maybe it's the still darkening skies although its mid june and everyone is lusting for popsicle weather. last week i felt like someone kept tightening my nerves until they snapped and i ended up as watery a mess as the rest of philadelphia. i am, i think, knee deep in a quarter life crisis; i don't really like my job, i'm still getting comfortable in my home, and there's no guide for the in-between-love-and-other-more-serious-milestones place where my relationship squarely sits. so last thursday i just let it overwhelm me and things have been better ever since i gave up trying to control things. 

so now i am calm, lying in bed with my love, watching harvey. we ate bar-be-qued chicken we made on the george foreman grill for dinner and i'm drinking white wine and feeling sleepy. it's gotten warm enough to lay here in my underpants and a too tight t-shirt that says i *heart* sailors  with the fan blowing across the both of us. i'm very content, for now, and it's enough. 

Music is my great-grandmother's friend.

Song: Love Like The Movies
Artist: The Avett Brothers
Discovered the Band: They came to Longwood for Spring Weekend 2004

Mood: Just finished watching “You’ve Got Mail” and are crying from when Tom Hanks says: “Well... if I hadn't been Fox Books and you hadn't been The Shop Around the Corner, and you and I had just, well... met... I would have asked for your number, and I wouldn't have been able to wait twenty-four hours before calling you and saying, "Hey, how about... oh, how about some coffee or, you know, drinks or dinner or a movie... for as long as we both shall live?"

Lyrics: So you want to be in love like the movies / But in the movies they're not in love at all / And with a twinkle in their eyes / They're just saying their lines / So we can't be in love like the movies

Now in the movies they make it look so perfect / And in the background they're always playing the right song / And in the ending there's always a resolution / But real life is more than just two hours long

So you want to be in love like the movies / But in the movies they're not in love at all / And with a twinkle in their eyes / They're just saying their lines / So we can't be in love like the movies

Well you can freeze frame any moment from a movie / Or run the whole damn thing backwards from reel to reel / But I don't see one single solitary light technician / Or one single camera in this moonlit field

I don't want to be in love like the movies / Cause in the movies they're not in love at all / With a twinkle in their eyes / They're just saying their lines / So we can't be in love like the movies. / And with a twinkle in their eyes / They're just saying their lines / And so we can't be in love like the movies./ Nooooooo / We can't be in love like movies

Seeing The Avett Brothers Thursday: Hells Yes!

I don't know how to help my friend.

I don't know how to help my friend. She's in love with a boy. Who has been in a long term relationship for several years, but neither of us knew. She is so confused. It breaks my heart, as she wishes nothing but happiness for him. I wonder if he knows her feelings. We were curious about his girlfriend and I asked another aquintence of his. The only description was thin, really reall thin. Which made my friend feel self conscious with the odds stacked against her. I wish I could make her see how beautiful she is; I heard a song in the bathroom of Outback last night that describes her "Diamonds on the inside" by Ben Harper. I'm at such a loss. She kinda reminds me of Jane Bennet, from Pride and Prejeduce (yes I just finished), she is trying to put away all these feelings and act like he doesn't affect her, that his friendship is enough. As Elizabeth Bennet, I can see he has some affection for her but I think world circumstances will keep them apart. Sigh. Such heavy feelings for 10am on a Saturday.

Ahhhh!

Looking on Apartment Therapy.com I found this vintage card catalogue for $700 in Brooklyn. All I want is a vintage card catalogue cabinet. I'd probably pay $1,000 + for the one from my elementary school Mimosa from Atlanta.

Look Ma! I'm on the Intarwebs!

ooh la la 

Little milestones.

Do you ever have a milestone that you feel like no one could understand? My recent one is that I had a craving for mac and cheese. I was able to eat it without being bitter or angry. To me, thats huge, to the grocery store attendent watching the four check yourself out lanes, it meant nothing.

Spring Breakdown, an unsung heroine.

Earler this year, the gracious Amber Tamblyn posed on the cover of Bust. Her interview was a burst of "we can" hope that I love so much about the cover page ladies (and men) of Bust.

She talked about rejecting role after role trying to find more than fluff and even harder than that-comedic roles for women. This topic brought about her love for vivacious Amy Poehler, who Amber had met awhile back while filming a female-centric comedy. Its release date had been pushed back for some time.

When searching for a rental to cheer up the frown left by S. Darko, I found Spring Breakdown. Amber Tamblyn and Amy Poehler, this must be that movie! Like Never Been Kissed, it follows three grown friends who never fit in with anyone but themselves, and their trip to fit in at the MTV style Spring Break in San Padre. There reason for going is it is Becky's (Parker Posey) work assignment to follow Ashley (Amber Tamblyn) and stop her from becoming the next Bush Twins. Her mom is a senator from Texas and potential Vice President replacement, who cannot afford a scandal. If only she realized that her daughter enjoyed Shakespeare better than shaking beer all over scantily clad coeds.

Finally! Boys have Van Wilder, Road Trip, Super Bad, Old School and Animal House. Girls, get excited- We now have Spring Breakdown! Zing! At a co-ed college I was forced to watch these same movies again and again when drinking was concerned. Now when I have my home girls over to do some speed scrapbooking and throw back some brewskies I can pop in this gem. I love how it has enough raunchiness but still that touch of girl power.

With our economy still stuck in neutral, it is no wonder that so many movies as of late have released straight to DVD: S. darko, FanBoys, American High School and others in these past few months. Though it is quite sad that Spring Breakdown was not even in limited release. The ladies of the movie remind me of my hay day with the likes of HBFL. Even though this started as a rental for me, this is going to be another one for my collection.

Musings from this past week.

• I went a day and half without toliet paper.
• I got one of those Office Max Perks keychains to add to my collection. If you spend $500 in a year you get $25 off. Let me put that rip off into a percentage: 5%.
• Thats not my name, thats not my name, thats not my name! (I'm listening to The Ting Tings)
• The new flatmates swept the basement and made a laundry station by the washer.
• I am currently so engrossed in Pride and Prejeduce.
• I have six bags of trash that need to go to the dumpster.
• I'm glad to be wiping again with Charmin.

what does it mean when all of my stuff breaks?

yesterday at about 4:45 all my stuff started breaking. the little plastic bump on my belt fell off somewhere, so it won't close properly. then that thing (why don't any of these gizmos have names? they must and i just don't know them) that hangs off your umbrella so you can snap it up and carry it came off. in the middle of the night my decorative birdcage fell off the ceiling, taking a strip of paint with it,  and bashed up my bamboo trash can. this morning i discovered a pen had broken in my purse and left a terrible blue stain on the gold lame bottom. 

i don't know why, but all of this upsets me greatly. i suppose i am a materialist, but in my defense, it has nothing to do with having expensive things to maintain the status quo. with the exception of the purse none of this stuff is particularly nice, most of it from thrift stores and the urban outfitters yard sale. but there is something that grates my nerves about having my stuff imperfect unless i got it that way. though i am not a careful woman and don't take particularly good care of most of my things, including my self, i still don't like it when they are messed up, especially when i can't fix them. i tried nail polishing the bottom of the bag, and it looks better, but not great, and a little lumpy. superglue did not hold the umbrella strappy on, and the belt is going to have to be appropriated for something else. the trashcan will get the hot glue treatment later. but it won't be the same. 

i know i know, this is probably a lesson in change and letting go and all that jazz. but i like my stuff, maybe because it's the one thing i can control. if i have a terrible day and everyone is an asshole and somebody who doesn't even know me yells at me because he can't find a book on calculus, when i leave i am comforted by my umbrella that matches my purse, by my big white room with the birdcage covered in metal wrought roses swinging in the cross breeze. i gathered them for these purposes. so maybe all i'm saying is it's okay to mourn a belt. maybe we should all remember that sometimes. 

S.Darko. Summary: Fan Fiction

Twilight. After I reread the novels 15 times each. Then would only read passages like a religious text, I found myself needing more. Fan Fiction. Of course I googled and it was like coming up over a mountain to see more valley and beautiful streams. Of course there are some fan fictions that remind me of Ralphie's letter in a Christmas Story on why he deserves a bee-bee gun. Some are so in line with all my own thoughts and wishes that it makes the original text seem new and fresh again.

S.Darko is the kind of fan fiction that probably lead to its straight to DVD release last month. After watching it, I was sorry I didn't rewatch Donnie Darko to try and understand where the story line was coming from. Though I'm not sure the director or screenwriter cared much about the original plot as well. If they had a check list I'm sure they thought "Creepy goo coming from people's body's, Check! Scary bunny mask, check, now we just need some other ideas."

I was interested to check that the director, Chris Fisher, has not directed much besides a handful of primetime tv shows. Not the whole season, but just an episode or two. Nathan Adkins, the screen writer, has a lot under his belt in the edit room, but whimped out under the Writer category.

The story line is so hard to follow it makes it worse and worse. That and the significance of Donnie's decision in the first movie is almost belittled with everyone and their mom choosing to sacrifice themselves to save another. There were three things that made me watch to the end. One, Hope of some kind of full circle closure, which didn't happen. Two, Jackson Rathbone who got to flex his acting abilities more so then as Jasper Hale in Twilight (needless to say I thought he stole the screen during his parts). Three, the amazing 90s outfits that assembled, since it is suppose to be set in 1995. It reminded me of my carefree middle school days thumbing through Delias and Seventeen. Fourth, oops, there is a fourth reason.. Ed Westwick. I just want to stare in his eyes for a couple of decades.

Despite one or two scenes the acting by all makes S. Darko interesting to watch. It is unfortunate that the plot line would not be good even if you were drunk or strung out on drugs. I think it goes to show that we are living in times where every penny counts so it seems easier to latch on to other ideas and ride their success coattails. Unfortunately S. Darko is unlikely to even be a underground-undergound cult hit.

somebody's reading pride and prejudice

we women always get incredibly self-inspecting about relationships when we read Austen. which is good.  I think Romeo and Juliet do have a spark that catches them on fire, i think they also have circumstances, like the serious backdrop of family violence, and the fact that they are fifteen,  that allow them to be self-centered and rash. I think maybe we all feel that spark, but we learn to bed it down, keep it more like  a pilot light on a stove burner.  I dunno though, i think guns blazing is necessary in the beginning. i think maybe it's a precautionary measure, or something born of biology, to consume and pre oocupy us until it's too late. it is the love born from attraction and fate and all that other stuff that new age and self improvement books explain to us happens when we meet the right person. maybe it's the way they smell. maybe our blood types call out to each other. who knows? whatever it is, that heady, crazy feeling is what we need to sustain us, what we need to look back on the next time we're pressing our nails into our palms out of frustration for one more stupid wednesday fight. love can't stay a flame, it'll burn down our houses, but we should learn to use it to keep the place warm. 

My thought while walking through Tower Grove Park today.

You know when you get that jaded feeling after you've been to something really uplifting. You left thinking that you are now going to live EACH DAY TO ITS FULLEST. Then you get cut off in traffic or break a pencil or your crush doesn't ask you out.

How come when it comes to love we have the opposite problem? We want to rush in and be all consuming. We don't want to wait, we want it now.

When love really is the one thing that we should take more preciously. I don't think we should go in guns a blazing. I think that it takes time and patience. Lots of patience. We just need to hold back. Restrain ourselves. Stop look and listen.

I think this made more sense in my head. I think the quote from William Shakespear's Romeo and Juliet is, "Hot running passions are like gunpowder meeting a spark - they cause an explosion that destroys both the gunpowder and the spark."

Why can't I come up with this ideas?

Its a cruel, cruel, cruel summer.

This is the result of no sun protection yesterday. It hurts! However, unlike Kim Kardashian, I will not be making rounds on the talk shows to talk about my brush with sun overexposure. To busy this week, I might be able to squeeze in an interview with Ryan Seacrest via phone. We'll see.

Found it on Apartment Therapy!

I imagine Kathleen having this set up for her shoes one day.

The art vs. getthatshitoutofmyface debate.

On June 5th my most beloved Craft blog, Craftzine.com posted a piece entitled "Nothing Much Happened Today (for Eric and Dylan)." If you look at it for just a second, you may be with me, that remember the day my heart was in my throat watching the coverage of the Columbine High School shootings.

This image that has been crossstiched by artist Noelle Mason, measuring 50 x 66 inches, it was one of the few images we got of Eric and Dylan, armed to the teeth and walking through the Columbine cafeteria, angered that the bombs they had brought would not go off. I'm still thankful to this day they never released the video Eric and Dylan made explaining what their intentions were about.

The average number of comments on a blog post for Craftzine is 2-5, if there are more than 10 you can bet that blog will become a guest writer for Craftzine. This morning after reading most of the 41, yes, Forty-One, comments I am scared by in a community of artist the hatred and angry shouts for censorship.

In reading the comments I learned where the aritst was inspired to title of the cross stich, "Nothing Much Happened Today (for Eric and Dylan)." "Nothing much happened today" is a quote from King George III's journal. It was the only entry on the day the revolutionary war began.

My saddness comes from the hateful comments that were left, I also read that several were so vulgar they were deleted by blog moderators. I imagine that was the kind of hate that Eric and Dylan felt, that drove them to taking lives.

I am thankful that I had parents that loved me, that do love me now. They don't always understand my quirks or strange habits that make me seem foriegn or an engima to some people, but I never got so low that I ever had to retaliate those who judged, taunted and ridiculed me. They are a love safety net. My mom always encouraged to try and confront others with how they made me feel. Easier said then done, but I had someone loving me and making me realize that I could be diffrent.

I wish Eric and Dylan knew this kind of love. I wish terrorists in all countries to know this kind of love. Actually I wish it for everyone.

Ackward Bathroom Experience

The setting is Friday afternoon at work. Mission: Number 1 and 2. The location, less used bathroom on Fixed Income Trading Floor.


Upon penetration of the women's facilities a newer coworker is located at 11 o'clock. This problem will be diffused soon as she is done washing her hands.


Mission number 1 accomplished, waiting to open the hatch before dropping of Torpedoes. Blip, blip blip. Mother hen, please hold as we wait for coworker to exit bathroom and be off radar. Copy that.



1 minute.
2 minutes.
3 minutes.


Tower do you have radar confirmation that coworker has left the premises. That's a negative. Still have a visible on her twenty in front of the sinks, please stand by. Copy that tower, Mother hen is wanting to relax and drop eggs as soon as possible.


4 minutes.

5 minutes.


Tower, Mother Hen cannot wait any longer, please confirm we have permission to plop. Negative that Mother Hen, please wait till we have bathroom silence.


6 minutes.

Door opens.


Mother Hen, we have interference with another plane, please drop as soon as other aircraft begins loud number 1. Copy that tower, relief accomplished. Can you verify whereabouts of coworker please tower? Copy, coworker is still planted in front of paper towels, sorry negative, coworker is heading out the door, Mother hen you are free to return to your desk.


Copy on the clear skies. Over and out.

I'm so obsessed with this song its lethal.

I'm in love with literal