I'm on a roll. And avoiding doing the dishes.

Okay, so the past few times I've looked for an apartment I get on this Craigs List kick. Because it worked with this apartment, I just need to save more during this fruitful economy. It always starts with apartments, then I look for a new desk, think about selling my Ikea sterling silver serving cart, go to strictly platonic and then end up looking at personal Ads. I'm sorry but you can't make this stuff up! Current Ad I am readings says Title: Pissed off at your EX? Read this 24 St. Louis "Wanting to blow off some steam? Look no further than here. Vent your anger by kicking me in the balls. I am a strange person, but I like getting hit down there. I am serious. Hopefully you can kick hard. "

I assume this guy gets off to America's Funniest Home Videos? Or wishes that was him tossing the baseball to his cute kid or falling down to straddle a rail or walking carelessly into something crotch height

Apartment Therapy Scavenger Hunt: M.J.

I like a lot of the items on Apartment Therapy. I have no ill will towards the late Michael Jackson, Mr. Pop. But what would you say if your Grandmother gave this too you? If I was dating someone and we had the "If you could get rid of one of my belongings from the apartment what would it be?" conversation. I would point to this. P.S. I would strongly advise against this conversation. We both know you don't have the balls to tell them what you really want to give up. Instead you cop out and go for the easy kill.

Am I flattered?

Five seconds after posting about the snappers my neighbors started setting off whistling fireworks. Am I flattered they read Two Best Friends dot com? Or am I going to call the police? Find our on the next exciting episode of Fireworks Of Our Lives.

Signs that I am not 10 anymore.

My next door neighbor or someone on this street keeps throwing snaps against the ground, my building, their building, their door, their window and its driving me insane. I remember when I use to BEG mom to buy these for me in Oklahoma, because you couldn't buy them in VA. They are easy to convience your parents to buy because there is no fire involved but there is a fun pop! Totally appropriate for kids and the 4th of July. BUT TUESDAY JUNE 30 2009!!?? Especially since at first I thought it was gun fire (again I was fooled by the fireworks). Ugh! Be quiet you young whipper-snappers!

I know people put some weird stuff on Craigslist but this takes the noodle!

I will pay you $50 to sit in my bathtub full of noodles while you wear a one piece bathing suit. I will not be home, nor will anyone else while you do this. I will leave the key for you, and you will sit at your leisure. I will require at least a 5 minutes stay. A neighbor will watch the front door from across the street and using a supplied stopwatch, will time your entry and departure. Please supply your own footwear. The noodles will be cooked, and therefore slippery. DO NOT bring any sauce. I will season the pasta after I return home prior to dinner. I am particular about who sits in my noodles so email me a picture of you in your one piece bathing suit and I will let you know if get the money.

New apartment

I am looking for a new apartment to save money and I'm finding some places that are 300-400 square feet? Do we think this is big enough? How big is that? What would I have to downsize too? Suggestions are welcome!

Tarot cards, physcics and movies?

Have you ever seen a preview to a Movie and it read exactly like that question you asked that "free" tarot card service? Or even the online magic 8 ball.

Well awhile ago I saw the preview for Puccini for Beginners. Basic story is a lesbian starts dating a man and accidental starts dating his ex girlfriend at the same time. CRAZY Iknow.

Well I was so curious as to who she would end up with. I compared it to my life of these sudden feelings for the opposite sex.

*SPOILER ALERT* So I finally watched the movie over the weekend. It was okay. She ended back up with her ex-girlfriend that she broke up with at the beginning of the movie.

I guess like a magic eight ball saying "It is undecided" I will have to make up my own mind about my sexuality. How unfair is that!!

saturday 3 pm

 and the location is my apartment, where in my own strange way, i'm mourning the death of michael jackson.  Its hot as hell so i'm sitting here in only a pair of high waisted granny panties, but all the candles in the place are ablaze anyway, and i'm playing " I want you back" on repeat, thinking about life after an icon. i would not say that the news ever brought me tears, or that i could claim his music kept me going, nor i could i promise i never made a joke at his expense or deny that i was creeped out by his bizarre actions and wasted face in the recent past. 

what i can say, though, is that in his absence i have lost a piece of the cultural landscape i was born into. No matter that his influence was not an overt or direct presence in my life, in 1984, the year of my birth, Michael Jackson was the most important player in the popular culture of the time. by then he was already a veteran performer and his record thriller was two years into the process of becoming the best selling album of all time.  and still the sound of his childhood voice  echoed from the past on radios in homes, cars and shopping centers where they entered  the collective conciousness of a generation. True, the contemporaries of Macaulay Culkin, a lot of us grew up with a developed awareness of Whacko Jacko and the sort of school bus jokes that accompanied his increasingly erratic behavior. Still, the made for tv movies about his difficult childhood that hit airwaves in my adolesence still resonate, and now that I have the safety of hindsight, i can say that Michael Jackson's death has me saddened and a little lost. like everyone gone before his time, we haven't had time to prepare for the void. a part of my past, our past, the past, is gone. 

sarah, no.

i know you really really really love twilight but you CANNOT buy this shit. 

this bitch stole my glasses

...and my body